ANCIENT POKEMON ADVENTURES
by Mr.FishxAlexander4EVA69
Summary: THESE ARE THE MAGICAL ADVENTURES OF ANCIENT HEROES AS POKEMON TRAINERS. THIS HAD CRACK IN IT. LOTS OF CRACK. EVERYONE IS HIGH. LIKE YO MOTHER.
1. Alexander's Pokemon Adventure

(I ALSO HAVE NOTHING AGAINST THE GAY COMMUNITY, POKEMON OR ALEXANDER THE GREAT AND HIS FRIENDS. THIS IS JUST HARMLESS CRACK)

**Alexander's pokemon adventure.**

**A wonderful insight towards ancient pokemon trainers.**

**Who were probably all gay.**

One day in ancient Greece when Alexander was in his room and looking at porno vases without his parents knowing, his mother barged in with an important message.

Olympias: Alexander! I've been telling you for years now that I'm very disappointed that you didn't quit school with that weirdo Aristophenes to become a pokemon trainer!

_She had come in with her usual dissapointmnet speech. How he hadn't found a woman yet, or have had any real accomplishment instead of frolicking with other underage boys._

Olympias: You've been sitting on that couch for days and the lawn is a mess! Get yourself out there and make yourself useful for once! You aren't coming back in until I see that grass mowed!

_She grabbed Alexanders arm as the porn vase fell and smashed into the ground. At least his mother didn't know why he was so 'high up' at the time but that was a very hot vase. It was painted by Kleopharades because he could paint very sexy men._

Alexander resisted Olympias's pulling but he was thrown outsode anyway.

Alexander: BUT MUUUUUMM! D: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!

_Alexander said while he tried to get back inside. Olympias stopped him by shoving her boobs in his face._

Olympias: What don't I understand, son? This will be a good experience for you!

Alexander:THERE ARE WILD POKEMON IN THE TALL GRASS!

Olympias: Well good. Maybe you'll finally have to drop out of society and stop being such a dissapointment to your father and I.

_And with that, she left him there on the doorstep._

_Alexander sulked his way down to the front lawn. Pokemon were for girls and straight men who did girls._

_SUDDENLY, Proffessor Oak jumped out behind a chariot._

Oak: I see you're starting a pokemon journey! First off, you're going to need a pokemon!

_Alexander looked at this man who looked like Clint Eastwood if he decided he wanted to live on a mountain, eating instand noodles and playing with furry animals for forty years, then back to the lawn, which had a couple of pokemon sprawled out on it. _

Alexander: Oh. Uhhhh… I want this one.

_He says as he picks up a magikarp and points at it._

Oak: No you don't. Trust me.

Alexander: (With tears in his eyes) But we've already bonded. I named him Mr. Fish. His friendship has finally taught me the meaning of love. And he has my scent now, his mummy will never take him back.

Oak: …Whatever kid. Just take this pokedex and try not to hurt yourself.

_So and Alexander took off to try their hand at the fighting games. The only way they knew how._

Alexander: (SMASHING SOME RATTATA'S WITH LIKE A CLUB) Oh wow! I didn't think it'd be this easy!

_SUDDENLY_  
Bugcatcher pokemon trainer: HEY YOU LETS BATTLE

Alexanedr: OK

Bugcatcher pokemon trainer: POLIWAG! USE BUBBLEBEAM!

Alexander: (With bubbles popping all over him kinda erotically) OH NOOOO **SMASH SMASH SMASH THAT MUTHAFUCKA POLIAG WITH MY GIANT ORANGE **

_And I guess if you bludgeon enough of those critters into submission…_

EVOLVED INTO GYARADOS!

Alexander: FUCKIN' SWEET!

_Alexanedr was so happy that he hopped onto his new Gyrados. _

Alexander: I'M THE KING OF EVERYTHING!

_Alexander then got his pokemon license revoked and was kicked out of the pokemon league because his Gyrados kept on eating all the other pokemon. He was then sent to a masculinity rehabilitaion home._

THE END.

ACTUALLY NOT THE END CAUSE THERES MORE.


	2. Hephastion's Pokemon Adventure

(YES I KNOW ABOUT SPELLING, I DON'T CARE :D)

(I ALSO HAVE NOTHING AGAINST THE GAY COMMUNITY, POKEMON OR ALEXANDER THE GREAT AND HIS FRIENDS. THIS IS JUST HARMLESS CRACK)

HEPHASTITIONS'S POKEMON ADVENTURE

One day Hephastition popped out of his mummy.

His mum looked at Hephastition and said "Why, what a fine baby this is. Mufasa, what shall we call it?" Mufasa rolled over in his cave. "I don't care what you call it, just don't make it gay."  
So Rafiki held up the baby over pride rock and dubbed him Hephastition.

There was a prophecy that came with Hephastition though. He was destended to be a pokemon master.

Once day while Hephastition was walking around town, he bumped into a wall.

SUDDENLY, from behind the wall, Professor Oak jumped out and grabbed him.

Oak: HELLO THERE. I SEE THAT YOU ARE TEN YEARS OLD. COME WITH ME AND CHOOSE A POKEMON.

Hephastition: What? Oh yeah, ok.

SO THEY WENT.

Oak: NOW CHOOSE OUT OF MEOWTH, SKITTY OR DITTO.

Hephastition: Two cats and a sex slave. I'LL TAKE THEM ALL!

SO HE DID.

SO HE ALSO TRAINED HIS POKEMON ALL UP TO LVL 100 AND KILLED EVERYBODY.

When he went to the Pokemon legue but he wasn't allowed in because his ditto kept trying to hump all the other trainers pokemon.

Hephastition: Hmmm, I guess I have to create a disguise to get in, eh?

So Hephastition dressd up in security gear and hopped on a quad bike and drived through the front door. While mucking up the carpet, Hephastition realised that the pokemon legue was super duper corrupt and stuff so he went on a quest to save the pokemon legue and the world. Hephastition jumped off of his quad bike and made his ditto transform into a sexy jigalow. He then showed the world the meaning of love with his ditto and the world was saved.

Months later, Hephastition met Alexander and they fell in love and rode off into the distance on . They conqured many worlds with and they made everyone gay.

Hephastition's ditto then transformed into a sexy gyrados so that had a wife and they were very happy. They lived at the bottom of a lake and had thousands and thousands of magikarp.

THEY END.

OR IS IT?


End file.
